First of all a very happy Pongal, It’s yummy sakkara pongal time and I made mine in the crock pot, no cooking no work. Just steaming cups of pure sugar and carb laden goodness waiting for me to get back from work 🙂
Teen R was talking to me about random things and the topic of kids came about, he said he didn’t want any and would I mind, of course I reassured him I didn’t mind at all. He left and I remained thinking.. Teens have this awesome brain where they don’t think about most things beyond a few seconds 🙂 where as I’m a full on agony aunt where every topic brings back repressed far away memories.
So on the topic of kids , My BIL and his wife are expecting a baby and I’m terribly terribly excited. I usually get this way for other people’s kids and go on a diaper, baby stuff shopping spree. so officially we are very very excited.
Now everyone knows I’m not very kid friendly I love to play with babies for a short time and hand them back to their doting parents, I love mine and will do just about anything for them but having said that, I would also have been fine with no kids, Lets just say it was not easy convincing me to have kids and leave it at that.
Coming to the present ,even after having 2, I’m still not convinced it’s a great thing to have kids. OK if one twists my arm and drones on about carrying forward a piece of us , I can understand the need for one, but the 2 nd. Nope, nada, I don’t understand the need at all. It’s not like I’m queen of England and need an heir and a spare, to leave my kingdom too, As for someone close to them after I’ve gone, they can find a partner/friend so why bother. Now to my thinking does this really require me to populate the world? that too with 2,
True My kids could grow up and find the cure for cancer or stop all the wars , but even that in my mind does not justify me populating the world. Someone else would if they didn’t. I think selfishly I just don’t want to take on the extra load associated with kids. Am I that lazy??? I still don’t know why I had kids. Especially as I don’t feel my DNA is worth passing along for posterity.
Now all the senior citizens in my family tell me ‘ see how content you are’, ‘ would you give either up , see how ridiculous you were to not want kids ‘ …. and I ache to tell them. hello of course I would not want to give them up, I’ve spent 15 years of loving and effort. and yes I still think I would have been equally content without kids, it’s not them making me content. but I don’t say it , I hold my peace and be quiet because they are old and have only a few more years in this planet and I don’t want them to think they have failed completely in getting me to see reason.
Sigh so many questions and no answers, I wish it would dawn on me as to why we have kids that satisfies me, or maybe I’m simply close minded and my mind is already set. huh.
I tell my kids, Marry if you want to, have kids only if you want too, live like you want , how you want , when you want , just make sure you don’t cause others harm that’s all. I tell them I love them irrespective of their choices.
This is just a thought, maybe I will read this years later and think I was so idiotic. but why do we have kids ?