I have an acquaintance I went to school with, S . We now live close by and ever since we have reconnected she keeps repeating to me, how she can’t believe I’m married or have kids or that I’m married 17+ yrs to the same man !!! Seriously , I think back and ask myself was I that terrible during college or what exactly was I then that made her think this way?
She keeps asking me if I’m happy, No amount of I’m quite happy thank you satisfies her, I understand she is in an exclusive long distance relationship , traveling around saving the world, good I get it, but I have no desire to go traipsing to some remote 3rd world country to save anyone, thank you. I too am pretty much am exclusively hooked up to one single man except that Its a legally binding thing, yes I am independent , make money and I don’t have the discipline or mental capacity for long distance relationships, the 4 months I tried it with R cost him thousands in phone bills.
Now I’m no great Fan of marriage, I don’t understand why people get married ( me included) , I’d ambivalent about a legal commitment, It’s a useless piece of paper to me. Commitment is commitment with or without that paper , lesser said about the thali the better. Unlike Sowcar janaki movies , I know I don’t hold R’s life in my thali and it’s better this way, sometimes I have a terrible temper, no saying what I’d do with such power then. But that’s just an opinion – mine. and we all have differing opinions.
Then this past Diwali I met her and took some Murukkus and sweets and she couldn’t believe I made it, I mean flat-out disbelief . C’mon it’s ladoo not brain surgery, Google will spit up a million recipes along with sage advice on what not to do. Even my 7 yr old can follow that and she didn’t even taste it, she was wowed by the sight of ladoo from me alone, for all she knew I could have added salt and chilli powder in them. She still talks about it !!!!
Why do we have this reverse snobbery about marriage , in my mom’s time, not being married means you were pathetic, nowadays being married is so passe? what happened to individual choice? I wonder what gave her this impression of me and also why cannot we accept others choices as just that – Choices.